An old Buddhist parable may help illuminate the issue. A young farmer was paddling his boat up the river to deliver his produce to the village. He was in a hurry. It was a hot day, and the farmer, covered with sweat, wanted to make his delivery and get home before dark. Looking ahead, he spied another vessel, moving rapidly downstream toward his boat. The vessel seemed to be trying desperately to hit him.
"Change direction, you idiot!" he yelled at the other boat. "You are going to hit me!" But his cries were to no avail. Although the farmer rowed furiously to get out of the way, the other boat hit him with a sudden thud. Enraged, he stood up and shouted, "You moron! How could you manage to hit my boat in the middle of this wide river? What is wrong with you?"
As he strained to see the pilot of the other vessel, he was surprised to realize there was no one in it. Rather, he was screaming at an empty boat that had broken free of its moorings and was just floating downstream with the current.
The next time you start angrily blaming someone else for problems you encounter, just remember, there is never anyone in the other boat. When we are screaming, we are always screaming at an empty vessel. The other person who is irritating you will not change direction in the current just for you.
http://pf.fastcompany.com/magazine/98/mgoldsmith.html?partner=rss
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